I thought this was a good one to pass on to you: how to make yourself unhappy. Do the opposites, of course, and you will be much happier as a result. Take time to really think about any of these that resonate with you. Are you doing any of them? Could you change it? How? Start with a tiny step and change one thing at a time if you need to.
Take each of these ingredients, combine and make yourself miserable:
- Buy things you can’t afford or don’t want. When you buy things you can’t afford, you go into debt, which limits the other choices available to you. When you buy things you don’t want, you lie to yourself about the real source of your unhappiness.
- Compare yourself to others. Judge your success or worth based on other people, especially those with a different background from you.
- Take no joy in the journey. Focus only on the destination without appreciating the ride. Fail to celebrate small successes, and neglect to pause for reflection on how far you’ve come.
- Respond instead of initiate. Take no responsibility and let other people set the agenda for your life. Take the lead for your schedule from your Inbox, voicemail, or someone else’s demands.
- Allow other people to determine your values and priorities. Drift in the wind. For best results, allow your values and priorities to shift as you waver between bosses or role models.
- Refuse to challenge yourself. Take it easy and settle into routine. Choose to believe that all stress is bad and seek to live as relaxed a life as possible.
- Whine and complain to anyone who will listen. Explain how the world isn’t fair and how you would do things differently if you were in charge. Bonus: this practice also allows you to contribute to other people’s unhappiness.
- Focus only on yourself. Refuse to forgive. Hold on to grudges. See the worst in people.
- Settle. Accept things as they are no matter how unsettling they might seem. It could always be worse, right? Live in the complacency of your situation and refuse to fight for something better.
Source: Art of Non-Conformity newsletter